Momma's Day

This year's Mother's day my husband surprised me with a sweet slideshow. We were watching it together and as the video started playing, I kept on asking him what soundtrack he used because I could barely hear it. When the music became familiar, I had to hit the pause button just to give him the "No you can't make me go teary eyed but yeah Im about to give in" look. And so I was ballin' the whole time we we're watching it. Why? First, I love Stuff We Did by Michael Giacchino (UP Soundtrack), and some other songs from the album. Its one of those songs I listen to when I'm stressed out and sometimes Bok would even play it on the piano just to relieve me from my stress.


Second, seeing those photos made me think back on all my mommyhood moments. From pregnancy, which I had to say I am still not ready to experience again (ugh the nausea, cramps, over the top mood swings--my family said I went kukoo when I was preggos haha!) to Kady's first day with us; those sleepless nights,tiring days, etc. And of course, those happy moments: our playtime, Kady's milestones (which makes me one-proud-momma); our moments when we understood each other without saying a word. Oh there are lots of things to share and they are countless.

What my mom said was true, being a mom is a tough job but it is indeed fulfilling. I know I have more years ahead to gain experience in being a mom, most of the time I feel discouraged and not confident in doing my role but I always lift everything to God to help me in making the right calls in my wifey-mommy duties. I continually remind myself that I am weak and I must become dependent on God ALWAYS.


Never have I imagined that I would love doing household chores and enjoy taking care of my husband and daughter, it's such JOY and it has become my passion:) Allow me to share what I've read in Pam Farrel's book, Woman of Influence: "The seed of passion is planted in our lives by God. Passion is not something we have to go in search of. We need to search for God. When we seek to be intimately connected with Him, He will use the desires of our heart, the circumstances of our life, and His confirming Word to solidify and reveal the passion...Passion is something you can't walk away from, because it is a part of you. I believe God places a calling on each of our lives."

I remember posting this on Twitter.

With all of these, I was reminded of Proverbs 31:10-31 and how I wanted to make this as my goal:

^10-31 A good woman is hard to find, 
and worth far more than diamonds.
Her husband trusts her without reserve, 
and never has reason to regret it.
Never spiteful, she treats him generously 
all her life long.
She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, 
and enjoys knitting and sewing.
She's like a trading ship that sails to faraway places 
and brings back exotic surprises.
She's up before dawn, preparing breakfast 
for her family and organizing her day.
She looks over a field and buys it, 
then, with money she's put aside, plants a garden.
First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, 
rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started.
She senses the worth of her work, 
is in no hurry to call it quits for the day.
She's skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, 
diligent in homemaking.
She's quick to assist anyone in need, 
reaches out to help the poor.
She doesn't worry about her family when it snows; 
their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear.
She makes her own clothing, 
and dresses in colorful linens and silks.
Her husband is greatly respected 
when he deliberates with the city fathers.
She designs gowns and sells them, 
brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops.
Her clothes are well-made and elegant, 
and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.
When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, 
and she always says it kindly.
She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, 
and keeps them all busy and productive.
Her children respect and bless her; 
her husband joins in with words of praise:
"Many women have done wonderful things, 
but you've outclassed them all!"
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. 
The woman to be admired and praised 
is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God (meaning one who honors God).
Give her everything she deserves! 
Festoon her life with praises!

(The Message)

December in January

Just when I thought that December was over, God has been so good to make my December complete in January, here's why:

First, Christmas season here in the Philippines is the time of fireworks. I love watching fireworks:) watching 'em makes me feel happy inside. Now that was an understatement, fireworks makes me THRILLED, EXCITED, OVERJOYED!!! Here's what fireworks does to me...

 

(taken 6years ago during our stay in Baguio for a Regional Meeting with AXA).

But last New Year's Eve was different, I wasn't able to scream my lungs out when the whole exploding of the pyrotechnics started because my daughter was afraid of fireworks, the sound of it makes her terrified. As she gets comfort from me, I stayed with her inside the house while the whole family watch the fireworks display. 

This is my daughter keeping herself busy with the games on her Uncle Blue's iPad as the clock struck 12.

But came January 16, 2011 me and my husband were volunteer assists for a wedding and the special day of the couple was ended with a grand fireworks display, awesomeness! At that moment, I had to stop taking pictures, let my husband take over the photoshoot and I just savored every bit of the colored flames and sparks of the display.

Next, I've always wanted to try Starbucks' Christmas drinks but the holiday season came by so fast that I wasn't able to grab a drink in their Christmas designed cups. Not until my friend, Crystal, told me that Starbucks extended its Christmas drinks promo. Later that night after our wedding photoshoot, Crystal dropped by and bought me and my hubby a Praline Mocha! Now that was completing a December in a day of January.

not the actual drink given but photo taken by Crystal Te:)

It is simple joys that makes me feel blessed and loved by my God. To God: thank You for putting a smile on my face and joy in my heart with these simple things...I ♥ You!

Ms Faith

One Sunday church service, a lady in front of me caught my attention. She was sitting beside her two sons. Throughout the praise and worship, she was holding hands with one of her two boys while singing, maybe if her other son sat on her other side, I think she would also hold hands with him. When the offering time came, she discreetly gave her boys money to give as the love offering bag passed by them. And during the preaching, although paying well attention to the sermon, she made sure her boys were sitted behavely.

The lady reminded me of my mom, she diligently brought me and my siblings to church every Sunday and wanted us to love going to church. We know (even my late dad too) that our mom doesn't like being late, she doesn't want to see us crabby getting ready for church--we must clean up our act before going out of the house. Any negativity is a No No for her. On our way to church she gives us our baons then our love offering. We know Sundays make her excited, she prepares the clothes that we will wear the night before then she wakes up early--you can just tell that going to church makes her happy. It is like she's being recharged after a very action-packed week.

Recently, she became my seat mate at church. We worship together, take down notes, share insights during preaching and even giggle when one of us can relate to the examples given by our pastor.

Let me tell you my mom's admirable traits:

We are familiar with "mother's intuition" but with my mom, her discernment is remarkable. She would know if any of us--her children are going through something and even if we don't tell her yet she knows what it is. But no matter what happens she always responds in love and gentleness.  Yes she is a gentle woman--you won't hear her nag or raise her voice. I know she thinks a lot before reacting to situations that's why in most instances she remains quiet and collected.


She is a giver, she is an example of being a channel of blessings. When she is blessed materially/financially, that blessing doesn't stay long in her hands. It is her joy to share it with others even if nothing is left for her. She always put others before herself--she is never selfish. And we have witnessed how God has provided for her.

Another admirable trait of her is that when asked for an advice she always gives the wisest ever. She will give words of comfort and encouragement but her bottom line will always be: pray, find quiet time or spend more quiet time, search God's will, do not take matters in your own hands, be still and wait patiently for God's answers, soak yourself in God's presence.

I believe her faith in God is unshakeable. She went (and is still going) through a lot, but boy you won't see her complain about anything. You won't hear any negativity coming out of her mouth, when tempted she would remain quiet or just cry. Not sobbing cry but crying out to God in prayer.

Another admirable trait of her is that she is very PRAYERFUL. Her day starts and ends with a prayer. When faced with a problem, she will just be calm and soak herself in God's presence through prayer. If asked what is her favorite verse, she would answer Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God" this became her life verse. That's why I think she really deserved the title Ms FAITH. 

Happy Birthday to my Angel:)

Through her, I've learned that in everything I do, God is my foremost priority. That God is faithful, His timing is always perfect, and He is good all the time.

Nay, thanks for being my best friend, for being there for me no matter what. Thank you for always reminding me that life is not about me but it is how I should love and obey God with all of my heart.  Mom, I always tell you this but I really think you're an angel--you are heaven sent! I am blessed to have you as my mommy. I love you sooo much!♥

Little Pilgrim's Progress

Last week, my student had a book report assignment and I was able to read few chapters of it, it is entitled Little Pilgrim's Progress, a Christian allegory for kids which was written by Helen L. Taylor. It is an adaptation of John Bunyan's classic work, Pilgrim's Progress.


The story is about a boy named Little Christian, he is from the City of Destruction who wants to reach Celestial City. He is a tired and unhappy boy for he has a heavy burden on his back. At the beginning of his journey he meets Evangelist, who gave him directions to the Wicket Gate for the deliverance from the heavy burden he was bearing. But before they parted, Evangelist gave Little Christian a note from the King of Celestial City. It wrote : "I love them that love me, and those that seek me early shall find me" Evangelist said that what was written is the king's promise to all His little children. Hearing all these, Little Christian was compelled to bring along his friends with him. But only one friend went with him, his name is Pliable. Their journey together is cut short when the two of them fall into the Slough of Despond. Both of them discouraged, tried to escape from their fall. Pliable, now infuriated, managed to pull himself but left Little Christian because he didn't expect their journey to be tough. Then came Help, he rescued Little Christian from the Slough of Despond. Not knowing where Help came from, Little Christian thanked him and asked how he knew that he was in trouble. Help answered that he is always sent by the King because the King knows when His children are in need.


I wasn't able to finish the book but it spoke to me clearly. God knows every details of our lives. He is not shocked nor surprised on what we are going through. His goodness is amazing that He saves, protects and blesses us. His love is crazy that no matter how many times we fall He forgives and forgets. What does He wants from us? He wants us to surrender fully, declare our full dependence on Him, place our hope and trust in Him through faith. He wants our wholeness.

I am

...married to Rock.

My hubby is: Peter Sheehan Ehren

The meaning of his name is: Rock+Peaceful one+Honorable

My man is very kind hearted, a gentleman, he is my bestfriend and I love how he loves Jesus passionately. He is the best and I'm blessed to be married to him. I love him beyond the farthest star. I love to be with him until we both get wrinkly and grow gray hair. Our goal is to be: together forever♥

...mommy of Music.

My daughter's name is: Kiersten Kaydence

Meaning of her name is: Anointed+Music

She is an amazing blessing we received from God, she is exactly how we prayed for. Everytime we see her we are reminded of God's immense love for us and we are humbled to receive such gift. In August 30, 2008 (Kady's Dedication) Bok and I vowed that:

❀ We will provide a Christian home for her

❀ Bring her up in the fear of God and in the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ

❀ Endeavor a life that places no stumbling block for her

❀ Surround her with things that are pure, true, lovely and of good report

❀ Encourage her spiritual and moral growth

❀ Faithfully pray for her and diligently teach her the Word of God   

...inlove with Jesus with all of my ♥

He is my Saviour.

I will be forever amazed at His immense love and His unfathomable grace that saves a man's soul from eternal damnation. I am not worthy but still He chose to save me and love me unconditionally.

I googled the meaning of my name and I got two definitions of Kamilla. One is Altar Server (origin: Polish) and the other is Perfection (origin: Arabic). But my parents told me, I was simply named after their comrade. They said she is a brave, courageous and fearless woman.

Here are some interesting writings about my name:

KAMILLA

Sign Language

Braille

Morse Code

Flag Language

Dad's 9th

July 24 ain't my favorite day. For me,it will be forever remembered as a loss of a person who first treated me like a princess. Yes I'm his baby princess:) My dad's passing became difficult for me to understand, it was a shock not just for me but also for people who knew him. While writing this, I stumbled across the article of inquirer online about my dad's murder, what they did to him is just so brutal--UNACCEPTABLE!  .

Then I was reminded how that day went and I wished I could turn back time.


It was a Tuesday morning, thought it was going to be just an ordinary day not until I kissed my dad to say goodbye because I was about to go to school, he  walked me up to the doorsteps then when I was about 3 to 5 steps away he called me back and asked if I could skip school and stay in the house with him.  I smiled and got excited! Who wouldn't right? Your dad asking you to skip school and stay with him? And my daddy? Who always tells us to prioritize school would say something like that? So, thinking that he was just testing me that if I would give in, I replied in a sweet tone that I needed to go to school and that he needs to go to work. But at that moment, I really felt something I couldn't explain. As I was walking on the street, my heart pounded faster and faster. Many times did I stop and looked back at our house and wanted to go back. But when I was 5 houses away, a black cat stayed in front of me and would go which way I turn. I don't believe in superstition but that really freaked me out. I immediately prayed and asked God to protect me and my loved ones.


Then came 10 am, exactly after my class ended, I got a call from my sister telling me to go quickly at our dad's office. I could hear my mom wailing in the background but they wouldn't tell me what happened but I knew it was something terrible like someone just died. I was shaking and tried to compose myself, left the school, rode the jeepney and I was just praying the entire commute. I remember asking God "Please don't let it be death or I wont be able to handle it". My commute took longer than usual because all of the jeeps I rode were very slow. Imagine an old jeepney driven by an old driver and when I looked around I couldn't find a jeep to transfer to. When I passed by my dad's office, it was already closed. I hoped that it was just an emergency were my dad just had to be brought to the hospital and everything is just fine. Later on, I realized that my very long commute, was all part of God's plan. For if I made it to the office, I would witness the crime scene, that for sure will be unbearable for me. As I got home, my aunts were all crying and then they broke the horrible news--my daddy's gone :'( I felt awful, I didn't know how to respond or even cry, all I know is that it hurt really, really bad. My stomach turned and I couldn't breath. I didn't want to believe it was true. All I wanted was to see my daddy and I wanted to see him alive. So they took me to the morgue but wouldn't allow me to go in because they knew I couldn't handle it--they told me to wait. When they brought the coffin out I saw my dad lying inside. I felt devastated. I was overwhelmed, I could faint.


My dad is long gone, but when I dream about him, it's as if he is still alive and everything is just so real and I don't want it to end. But when everything feels so happy and pleasant, he would suddenly disappear from the scene and I would realize it's just a dream.I don't like that feeling--it hurts real bad then I always end up crying when I wake up. Sometimes I wish his death was just a joke and he is still alive. Denial? No. I just miss my dad so much. We were like buddies.


At times when I feel I miss my dad, I would always feel God's love and comfort embracing me. It is true what is written in His Word that "God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort." -2 Corinthians 1:3 and He is Father to the fatherless -Psalm 68:5


I may never fully understand why God allowed this terrible thing to happen but I would not allow resentment to have a place in my heart. And this I am certain of:
My God knows everything; I do not.
He is in control.
He loves me greatly.


Just like Corrie Ten Boom explained: "Picture a piece of embroidery placed between you and God, with the right side up toward God. Man sees the loose, frayed ends; but God sees the pattern."


I don't need to see the pattern, I just need to trust God completely:)

blog is back!:)

As defined, blog is a contraction of the term "web log", it is a type of website, usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video.Blog also means to read, write, or edit a shared on-line journal.


The first time I knew about blogging was through my friend Sam, reading her blogs at multiply made me recognize how I wanted to express into writing my thoughts and ideas. My first attempt to blog was in my multiply account bokandkay, I had like 3 to 5 entries there then my writing stopped. It was like I went into hibernation. I would like to start blogging again, and this is my start:) I am grateful for friends who encouraged me to do so. Thanks Sam,  Malou, and my hubby Bok:) Hope I can keep the blog rolling :D